My mom loves Gordon Ramsay. It all started when we watched some episodes of his US version of Kitchen Nightmares at her house. They were free on On Demand, and we didn’t have anything else to watch. She liked it a lot, so we made a DVD with more episodes. Then we gave her Hell’s Kitchen. And she LOVES it. She mentions it all the time, and then we kind of get into it, because I’m conflicted about him.

On the one hand, I liked Kitchen Nightmares in the UK quite a bit. And I can admit that I liked the season of Hell’s Kitchen we watched when we lived in Vegas (but not enough to watch any more….the contestants are just too insipid). I agree with my mom that he actually comes off as pretty big-hearted. Yes, he can be abrasive, but I think he truly wants to help those restaurateurs and chefs in those failing restaurants, not for his own glory, but because he values the trade and craft.

On the other hand, upon becoming a vegan, I’ve really noticed the deriding and dismissive attitude toward vegetarians and vegans that prevails in the “food world.” I guess I would call myself a foodie, I certainly knew how to pronounce just about all the foods on this list, and I’ve eaten plenty of decadent stuff (nearly all made from body parts and/or excretions/secretions of animals). So I’ve been exposed, both before becoming vegan and after, to the extreme condescension (and often overt hostility) with which people who choose not to eat animals are treated. And somewhere along the way, I got that impression of Gordon Ramsay, for good reason.

However, he just recently went on Ellen (an amazing representative for at least a few despised groups), and he seemed positively giddy in his nervousness…so much so that he cut himself. (He kept repeating “I haven’t cut myself this bad in ten years!”) And he prepared an entirely vegan stirfry, with no snark or crappy comments. In addition, he’s recently indicated (after learning about industrial agriculture involving pigs) that he can see why people could go vegetarian or vegan “instantly.”

Anyway, after looking into it further, I’m definitely softening my stance on Gordon Ramsay. If even he can be convinced to at least acknowledge that people have a compelling reason to make this change, and he can honor it as a valid way of living that merits his respect (which I think he did by going on US television and enthusiastically cooking a vegan meal), then there’s hope. There is hope.

Just a brief post to assure our readers that piggypiggypiggy has not been abandoned. Hannahbee and I just got an Xbox 360, and all other activity not strictly required to sustain life are being suspended while we hack and slash our way through Fable II.

I’d like to further assure our readers that, even within the game, our characters are eating vegan. I was actually pleasantly shocked to find that food vendors in Fable II actually sell organic and silken tofu! Pretty weird. I have to confess that early in the game I did eat some beef jerky just to get rid of it, and my health overall isn’t great because I was drinking way too much beer and wine, but I’m back to a healthy diet of celery and greens.

We are also not kicking any chickens.

Piggypiggypiggy will return once the kingdom of Albion is made safe for compassionate, conscious living.

You want quick and easy? We got quick and easy! Tonight Mrs. Pants and I had a little something I like to call Harvest Casserole. It’s what I’m gonna call a “second-run” entree, in that the central ingredient is something left over from a previous meal.

In this case, the leftover in question is a delicious vegan Alfredo sauce, courtesy of Vegan Yum Yum. It’s a regular favorite at Casa McCracky, and very easy to make. We made this sauce the night before last, for a simple pasta dish, and doubled the recipe since we knew we’d be making this casserole later. (Yay meal planning!) This sauce makes a great creamy base for just about anything you want a creamy sauce for.

For the pasta, we use Bionaturæ organic semolina pasta. Semolina pasta isn’t as healthy as whole grain wheat pasta, but it is less processed (and therefore retains more nutrients) than refined white flour pasta, and we prefer the taste and texture of it over the whole grain pastas we’ve tried, so we look for 100% semolina pasta whenever possible.

Ingredients

• Hurry Up Alfredo Sauce


• Bionaturæ penne pasta (about ½ bag)


• Trader Joe’s Harvest Hodgepodge frozen vegetables (1 bag)


• Trader Joe’s Petite Peas (frozen, about 1½ cup or ½ bag)


• Trader Joe’s Gourmet Fried Onion Pieces (French’s is more common and is probably OK, but we know for sure that these are vegan, so we stick with TJ’s)


• Soy milk (or any unflavored non-dairy milk — we used soy because that’s what we had left over from making the Alfredo sauce) (about ½ cup)


• Salt and pepper to taste

Prepare the pasta, taking it off the heat a bit sooner than you normally would, so that it’s a little firmer than al dente (it will soak up some water and flavor from the sauce while baking). Meanwhile, if you don’t already have the Alfredo sauce on hand, this is a good time to prepare it.

Also get your pan ready. You’ll want a rectangular baking dish, greased with Earth Balance margarine or olive oil. Preheat your oven to 350°.

When the sauce is ready, combine it in a LARGE bowl (you’ll need plenty of room for all the ingredients) with the bag of Harvest Hodgepodge and the peas (these veggies don’t have to be defrosted). When the pasta is ready, you’ll want to mix that in and stir well.

The sauce will probably be a bit thick, so you can thin it out with soy milk until it’s a good consistency (you don’t want it to be soupy, but you want it a bit thinner than Alfredo sauce because some of the liquid will evaporate during baking).

Pour the mixture into the baking dish and cover with foil. Bake at 350° for 20-30 minutes. Remove the foil and sprinkle fried onion pieces evenly over the top of the casserole.

Return the dish to the oven and continue baking, uncovered, for another 15-20 minutes or until the topping is nicely browned. Add salt and pepper to taste and serve!

If you like casseroles, this dish is a real winner. It has all the comforting, creamy richness you want from a creamy casserole. I think the crispy fried onions are the crowning touch.

If you wanted some kind of meat-like component, I suppose you could add some chunks of chicken-style seitan or marinated tempeh — I might try that next time — but this dish seriously needs nothing else to be incredibly satisfying.

It’s funny how when you start a new creative endeavor, you feel a lot of pressure. Maybe it’s just me, but I always have that sense of pressure, like people are waiting, and that I must perform according to what I said I was going to do, or I will be failing.

But I suspect the reality is that there’s no such pressure. No one is waiting with bated breath for the pearls of wisdom that will flow from my fingers through this keyboard into this computer to be “uploaded.”

As I alluded to before, I’m not sure about the direction to take my own posts, or, to be honest, the necessity of this blog. Our Vegan Odyssey sounds so big and important, and like I mentioned, I just want to live.

Here’s how I’ve been living as a non-ovo/non-lacto vegetarian:

     I have to be careful on errand days because it’s not easy to find something to eat after we’ve been out for hours and we still have more errands to do. There’s no good vegan quick snack/drive-through/restaurant choices. Oh, the reason I have to be careful is that I become an insane crabmonster if I get too hungry. So, yes, planning ahead is critical. Since we’re doing some exercising at the beginning of errands, we are trying to get into the habit of bringing nuts in the car. That’s a good food to eat after exercise, and it’s enough calories etc to hold me over until we get done with errands. That, and our errands usually (for some reason ;) ) put us in the position to buy these. Srsly good.

None of the above was any different when I was eating animals (I have always become an insane crabmonster if I go too long without eating), except that back then I could get a Wendy’s Double Stack or a bag of Cheetos from the gas station and think I was feeding myself.

     Our church is starting some Lenten Small Groups. Since I love our church and I love small groups, I’m very excited about this prospect. But when Pastor Judy announced the groups, she talked about how the groups would include a meal of a “simple soup.” She proposed (and wisely so, in my opinion) that people might be more likely to come if there’s food. For a nonvegan me, that prospect raises no concerns whatsoever. But for me now, I have to speak up and ask her for something. I have to ask that even the concept of vegan soups be considered in this endeavor. And that’s not an easy thing to ask. I don’t want to make “special” requests in a situation like this! But I have to speak up, right?

     Valentine’s Day is this weekend. Here’s something brief I wrote about VDay back in aught-six. So Pants and I are trying to figure out what to do, and, frankly, I think it’s up to him. But guess what….where we spend the day and evening is influenced by whether we think we’ll be able to find something decent to eat for lunch or dinner. From now on until forever, this will be a consideration when we make plans. Makes spontaneity kind of difficult.

All this means this: I’m not changing back. I don’t regret my choices for even one second. My reasons and reality outweigh (by a huge proportion) my inconvenience. But I can’t help constantly wishing the world was more friendly to this choice. And I can’t help praying for the day it will be. I don’t care if it’s Vatmeat, the Pills of Nutritional Completeness, or something that we haven’t even conceived of yet. I just wish there was as little suffering as possible caused by humanity vis-a-vis diet. I’m not starry-eyed, I know that even plant agriculture causes suffering. But I truly believe the world could thrive on a plant-based diet, and I wish I could see that in my lifetime.

No photo this time. I really need to remind myself to take pictures of this stuff. Ah well. I might edit one in later, next time I make this dish!

As part of what seems to be a budding series on Inappropriate Breakfasts, I thought I’d try something a little different with my usual oatmeal this morning. Now, I am very, very conventional when it comes to certain foods. For instance, a bowl of grits, for me, is grits, butter (or nowadays, “butter”), salt, and black pepper. That’s it! Cheese grits? WRONG. Sweetened grits? DOUBLY WRONG. Things that are normally sweet, should stay sweet. That which is savory, remains savory. Some people grew up putting salt on their watermelon. Not me, so I never will.

On the other hand, never say never. Oatmeal, for me, is something to be eaten sweet: brown sugar and cinnamon, and some fruit. Walnuts are about as far towards savory as I’ll go. But when I read about Mark Bittman recommending savory oatmeal, I was intrigued. I tried it a while back, and liked it quite a bit. I had it again this morning, adjusting some things to suit my tastes.

As usual, my “recipes” are pretty much just “a handful of this, a shake of that.” But I’ll share what I did.

Ingredients:

• Oatmeal, Steel-Cut (1 cup) cooked in a rice cooker on “porridge” setting with water (3½ cups) and salt (½ teaspoon)


• Scallions (Green Onions) (¼ cup or a small handful)


• Eden Organic Seaweed Gomasio (a couple of shakes, to taste) Gomasio is a Japanese condiment made from sesame seeds ground with salt. The seaweed gomasio I use contains ground dried sea vegetables for extra flavor and nutrional goodness! However, regular sesame seeds are just fine.


• Nama Shoyu (1 tablespoon) Nama shoyu is raw, unpasteurized soy sauce; regular soy sauce works, too.


• Misc. seasonings: I added a shake of granulated garlic (garlic powder if you don’t have that) and a bunch of black pepper (I am a fiend for black pepper).
  
  I also added sea salt, which was a mistake because the nama shoyu and gomasio made the dish plenty salty. I wouldn’t do it again, but if you’re using regular sesame seeds, you might want to taste the dish and add salt at the end if needed.

To assemble this dish, you take a bowl of cooked oatmeal and stir in all the ingredients except for a bit of the scallion to sprinkle on top as a garnish. If you like, you can also sprinkle a little olive oil on top for a bit of richness. Make sure everything’s well-combined.

I find the flavor of savory oatmeal a little unusual, since I’m so used to the flavor of my usual sweetened oatmeal, but it helps to think of it as akin to a rice porridge, which (at least in Asian cooking) is generally a savory dish. But it’s really good. If you have any leftovers, you can refrigerate them and make fried cakes out of them later.

Like I said, I’m not normally the most adventurous eater. One terrific side effect of going vegan has been to open my eyes (and taste buds) to new kinds of flavor combinations that never would have occurred to me before. My diet is actually a lot more varied and interesting than it was when I was still eating animals. So much for the idea of a vegan diet being “limiting.”

Sorry for the horrible photo, but I had to take these with my iPhone.

We had some leftover quinoa from last night’s dinner, so I thought a breakfast quinoa would be an interesting change of pace from our usual morning oatmeal. Here’s what I did:

I heated up about 1½ cups almond milk (sweetened/vanilla) in a sauce pan until it just began to boil. Then I added enough leftover quinoa to make kind of a porridge-y, grits-like consistency, then lowered the heat, added about 2 tablespoons brown sugar and a couple of good dashes of cinnamon, and stirred constantly until it was completely heated through.

Meanwhile, I had some frozen fruit (blueberries and strawberries) that I had thawed overnight, and some walnuts. I spooned some fruit/nuts into each bowl (Hannah wanted strawberries only, and I wanted strawberries, blueberries, and walnuts, because I like to live large).

When the quinoa was heated through, I spooned it into the bowls and then stirred vigorously to mix everything up. That’s it! It took about five minutes.

I thought it was pretty good — fluffy and soft, but the quinoa doesn’t disintegrate into mush, so you can still taste the individual grains. It’s similar to the (steel-cut) oatmeal we know and love, but has a lighter consistency and that distinctive, slightly grassy flavor of quinoa.

Hannah thought it was good, but still prefers oatmeal. I agree, but I think it’s a nice change of pace, and a pretty tasty way to use up leftover quinoa.

We belong to a local CSA, so we get a box of produce every week. We used to pick it up on Mondays when we did errands, but doing errands on Monday was making me go crazy because it started the week at a too-frantic pace. So, we changed our pickup day to Wednesday, now errands are Wednesday (which includes grocery shopping), so meal planning is Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. (To be honest, it’s usually right before we need to get going!)

See what we do? We plan our meals for the week after we know what’s coming in the produce box (the list posted online at the beginning of the week), but before we do our grocery shopping. It was like a revelation, this meal planning concept. I had no idea how much stress it would relieve! Before we start our lists, we do a quick pantry/fridge inventory to see what we can make from what we have, and then we buy staples and any recipe necessities.

Here’s a tiny sample of this week’s planning:

We have a tube of pre-made organic polenta. I know polenta is very simple to make (it’s cornmeal and water, maybe a little salt), and one day I will definitely make a batch, but until then, the little vacuum packed tubes are a good size for the two of us. I really love polenta, and could probably eat one of those tubes myself, but I won’t. This time. Anyway, I remembered last night that we have this polenta, and I want to have it, so I carefully and scientifically evaluated what would be the most nutritionally optimizing foods to eat with it. Just kidding, I just picked something at random that I knew we had in the fridge: a pound of mixed greens already cleaned and prepared!! So, here’s the meal that will make: braised greens with pine nuts and sliced olives over pan-toasted polenta slabs. Slabs doesn’t sound all that appetizing, now you know why I’m not a cookbook author.

How will this delectable meal be prepared?

Have all this stuff ready before you start (note: all measurements are approximate — Here’s the truth: use what you like. Pants loves onions, so ours would have more onion. Some might want it more salty or less salty, so adjust the soy sauce. Or eliminate it and use salt if you don’t like that soy sauce flavor! I would probably use more garlic because I like it a lot. Want walnuts and no olives? Great! Want green olives and ripe olives? Great! Try stuff, see what you like! You could make it more Italian by adding chopped tomatoes. You could make it Southern by subtracting the nuts and olives, upping the vinegar and adding sugar or maple syrup, maybe a little liquid smoke and tabasco. Don’t be scared! Go crazy!):

1/2c - 1c chopped white/yellow onion
1-2 garlic cloves, minced
for braising the greens:
     1c water or broth to which you’ve added:
          2t soy sauce
          2t acid (lemon juice or vinegar)
3/4c pine nuts (raw or toasted, your preference)
3/4c chopped kalamata olives (pre-pitted)
add’l small amount of liquid or fat to brown onions/garlic

In a tall pot (like a stock pot) brown some garlic and onions. You can brown them in oil/earth balance/water/broth. Whatever you like. Since we did some McDougalling (extremely low fat vegan), we unlearned some habits like starting every dish with oil. In my opinion, some foods really need to be browned in fat (potatoes & polenta, to name two) but onions and garlic do not. You’d be surprised at what little flavor that fat at the beginning is actually adding! I literally can’t tell the difference in a dish where the aromatics (onion, garlic, celery, carrot, etc) have been started in water or broth vs oil. And since in this dish I know there’s some good veg fat in the nuts and in the olives, I won’t cook with oil except to grill up the polenta.

So, now your onions and garlic are soft and translucent. (PROTIP: start with your onions, give them about a half-minute headstart on your garlic…that helps the garlic not scorch. If things are getting scorchy, add a little more liquid or fat.)

Next, stuff all your cleaned/trimmed/chopped greens in the pot. The heat should be low to medium-low. A pound of greens may look like a lot, but it will cook way down, so far down that you’ll probably wish you had more greens! Pour over the liquid you prepared and give everything a stir. Cover.

Cook on low to med-low heat, stirring occasionally. Keep an eye on them to make sure the liquid hasn’t cooked out since the greens can scorch if that happens. If you’re worried, add more. Test and taste the greens for tenderness and flavor. When you like the flavor and texture, stir in the pine nuts and olives, turn off the heat, and cover to keep warm.

After stirring in the additions to the greens, I’ll pull out that tube o’ polenta and cut it open. It’s packed in water, so if you try one, cut it over the sink. I’m going to slice it lengthwise into planks about 1/2 inch thick. Maybe we’ll get 6 planks or so. I’ll brown them in olive oil until they crisp on one side (maybe 2-3 minutes?) turn and brown the other side. I’m not really trying to fry them, just get some nice browning on the surface. The inside will be creamy and soft. Plate the polenta in a shallow bowl, spoon the greens (with some of the liquid, if you like) over top. Salt & pepper to taste.

Regarding cooking greens like kale, collard, mustard, chard, turnip greens, beet greens: Here is my confession, my shame. There have been cooking greens available nearly every week in our CSA since we moved here. For most of that time (until last fall, I would say) we subbed them out for something else. We were scared of greens and didn’t know what to do with them and I wasn’t sure I even liked them. I honestly don’t know what happened, we just ate them a few times, tried some recipes (some real recipes) with them and KA-BLAOWAM!! Now I LOOOOVE greens. I actually crave them. I want to eat them twice/thrice weekly. We have them in stir-frys. We have them with beans. We have them with grains. We have them braised like this. I would eat this on toast or rice or even savory oatmeal. The other day I made kale chips (massaged ripped up kale with a little oil and too much salt and baked on low heat until they were crispy). I got the salt amount all wrong, so each one was like a crazy crispy Green Salt Bomb. I still ate them, they were awesome.

So, that’s a small slice of our planning and an example of what we eat. That dish is planned for Sunday. We planned out one week’s worth of dishes, including today. One day (Thursday) is a lunch, since we go to my mom’s for dinner every Thursday. For lunch that day we’re having BLTs on lavash bread (a flatbread that’s thin like a flour tortilla, but more hearty, like a pita). Uh….bacon? Yes….tempeh bacon! Yum!!

Jim posted a thoughtful response in the comments of my previous entry (“Who Are You?”) that naturally caused me to write a damn novel in response, so I’m posting it as a separate entry. And yes, I disagree with Jim on this. But I think he makes reasonable points that I want to address, at great and tiresome length, but also, I hope, convincingly.

Jim wrote:

I’m not sure there’s a most basic, elemental aspect of existence. But if there is, I’m not sure it’s food. I certainly agree that corporations aren’t looking out for us. They do produce a lot beyond food, however, and I’m not really sure that turning away from products like bottled water, movies, or alcohol results in any less or more liberation from corporation-influenced culture than turning away from factory-farmed meat. I can see why the idea that eating good food is the best thing you can do for yourself is appealing, but I don’t think it’s the foundation to happiness any more than any other healthy habit is. I’ve known people that are happy, at peace, and with a strong sense of self that have unhealthy diets that could be criticized from 50 different directions. Eating good food is good for you. But I think it’s up to you to make yourself happy with the health benefits you get from it. I have yet to see any indication it’ll do anything for your sense of satisfaction automatically.

Is Food Basic to Our Existence? Pants Says Yes

While I’d absolutely agree that food choices aren’t the only (or, for many people, the dominant) factor in one’s happiness or well-being, I maintain that food is the most basic universal element of human existence.

Yes, there are things like air and water that are more immediately necessary for life. And of course there are things like sex and money that are absolutely pervasive in our culture, social interactions, etc. (And it’s worth pointing out that all of those things can as easily fit into my point about “living your values” as food.)

But I can’t think of anything that is more fundamentally woven into more aspects of our lives — survival, culture, upbringing, well-being, entertainment, and social connections, among other things — than food. You can be asexual, apolitical, or care nothing for material possessions, but even if you only eat to live, you’ve still got to eat. And while I’ve encountered people who have no strong opinions about politics or religion, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t harbor some strong opinion regarding food.

Just about every social gathering or celebration or holiday revolves around food. Every culture has food traditions that, in many cases, run deeper than all of its other traditions (as I’ve seen in myself and everywhere I’ve lived, descendants of immigrants who may no longer know the language or customs of their ancestors’ home country still recognize and cherish their food heritage).

One reason why I struggle with talking openly about vegan issues is that food, in proportion to its essentially benign nature, is an incredibly provocative, contentious topic, which I think points to how fundamental a role it plays in our lives. People fight over things like whether Chicago-style pizza is “real” pizza. It’s hard to even state an opinion about food without making someone defensive. Look at the most primal food issue: breastfeeding. I think it’s actually a federal law that any online mention of breastfeeding or mother’s milk vs. formula must immediately devolve into a vicious flame war.

And when you get into the “rightness” or “wrongness” of people’s food choices, that’s when things get really ugly. There are entire weblogs devoted to attacking particularly controversial diet plans. I’m not even going to get into the feuds that go on within vegan and animal rights communities.

Psychological issues with food are pandemic in our culture. Very few of us grow up without some kind of weird food-related emotional complex. Look in any bookstore, and see how many books there are about food-related issues compared to other topics: weight loss, eating disorders, disease-related diet plans, cookbooks, books on alternative diets, etc.

If there’s a subject that is more central to our daily lives, our thoughts, and our relationships with our families and loved ones than food, I simply have yet to see it.

Food and Happiness

There’s a 2003 Gallup poll that animal rights advocates point to often in discussions of Americans’ relationship with animals. Among other things, the poll finds that 96% of Americans believe “animals deserve at least some protection from harm and exploitation.” (25% say animals deserve “the exact same rights as people to be free from harm and exploitation.”) Sixty-two percent of Americans, in this poll, favor passing strict laws concerning the treatment of farm animals.

At the same time, 99% of animals raised for slaughter in the United States comes from factory farms. So it stands to reason that most of those people who are concerned about animal welfare, and who eat meat, are eating meat produced under conditions they oppose.

The notion that food issues underlie a vast American cultural malaise is sort of a pet theory that I’m still developing. It first occurred to me while I was watching the documentary Food, Inc. (Which, for those who haven’t seen it, is not a vegan film or specifically about meat, but a pretty damning look at our industrial food production system that is a must-see for anyone with any interest in what they’re eating.)

One of the segments in Food, Inc. is about a Latino working-class (or more accurately, “working poor”) family of four, and their struggle to eat healthy food on a limited budget. We see them shopping for groceries, and having to choose between what’s healthy and what’s cheap. (At one point, the daughter puts back a couple of pears and gets ground beef instead, because the beef is cheaper per pound than the pears.) The mother talks about how they end up eating fast food most of the time, because it’s cheaper and more convenient than trying to cook healthy meals at home.

We find out that the father is diabetic, and that they have to spend $400-500 per month on his medications. One of the children, we learn, is pre-diabetic. So they’re faced with a dilemma where they can’t afford healthy food because they have to pay for medications…for a disease that may well be caused by, or at the very least is worsened by, eating crappy food. They’re trapped in a vicious circle, and it’s heartbreaking to watch this family talk about how they are essentially at the mercy of a corporate-controlled food system that artificially makes unhealthy food cheaper (via subsidies) while causing healthier foods to be more expensive (via manipulation of food law).

The cherry on top of this shit sundae is that, as a result of all this corporate junk food consumption, we come down with diseases that we then treat with expensive medications generously offered to us by Big Pharma. We pay companies for the food, then we pay companies for the consequences of eating that food. Our exploitation at the hands of corporate America couldn’t be more complete!

This ties into what I hear all the time from people who are trying to eat healthy and ethically: they’d make better choices if they could, but it’s almost impossible given the situation we’re faced with. We’re essentially at the mercy of the factory food system. If farm animals that were truly humanely raised and killed with a minimum of suffering were widely available at affordable prices, I’d imagine every meat eater would choose that meat. But in our current system, this is a practical impossibility for the average person. Which forces people — even people who might limit or eliminate their meat consumption if it were affordable to do so — to participate in a system that is corrosive to their morality.

So, why is food, more than any other corporate-produced product that we consume, such a dominant factor in our (un)happiness, according to me? The number one reason is, see above: we have to feed ourselves. Name a non-food consumer product category that is actually required in order to live. (Breatharians may disagree with my premise.)

Other corporate-produced products — home electronics, movies, cars, etc. — we can avoid. You can buy some basic clothes from a thrift store and be presentable. We’re not as tied to those things as we are to that thing we actually need to sustain life. The effort it takes to remove yourself from the factory food system is vastly greater than for anything else. The extent to which our culture flows in this direction makes it incredibly difficult for anyone trying to swim in any other direction.

But that’s what makes the sense of liberation greater, when you actually do opt out of the system.

I want to make one thing completely clear: I didn’t become a vegan in order to achieve this liberation. It was a completely unintended consequence. It’s something I didn’t even perceive as a possibility until after I had made the decision, and then began to realize the true depth of the moral implications. But it’s really hard to communicate this to someone who hasn’t made the same choice, because you kind of have to experience it in order to understand it.

And another thing I’d like to clarify is that this is not a health issue, per se. There is a valid debate that can be had about whether or not meat can be part of a healthy diet. That’s not what I’m primarily concerned with in these two blog entries. What I’m talking about is not deriving happiness from improved health, but rather the morality of our food, and the values we apply to our food choices.

We can live perfectly happy, peaceful lives while making incredibly unhealthy choices. But I also believe that our level of happiness is directly related to how consistently we live according to our values. If you’re living in a way that drastically violates your morality or ethics, there’s no way you can honestly call yourself happy or at peace with yourself, unless you’ve compartmentalized your emotions so severely that you only exist in that small space that remains uncompromised.

Are there people who eat factory farmed meat and animal products who are perfectly happy? Of course. But of those people, I would ask: (1) how aware are they of the facts of how their food is produced? (2) being aware of those facts, is the welfare of the animals they consume an issue that is important to them? and (3) if it is an important issue, do they believe their overall well-being, even if it is currently good, could be improved even further by making choices more aligned with their moral priorities?

I really hope this doesn’t sound like I’m trying to judge anybody, because I’m not. This is not about applying my values to other people, but observing how other people apply their own values to their own lives. Some people don’t place a high moral value on animal welfare. Many people don’t invest very much meaning in their food at all, so animal welfare as it pertains to food doesn’t even become an issue for them. While I personally disagree, I can accept that people have a right to their own system of values. My discussion is really more about those people who do care about food in this way than those who don’t.

For me, the most profound realization I’ve had since making the decision to go vegan is that my food choices are inseparable from both physical health and moral/spiritual well-being. A year or so ago, when H and I “went raw,” that was a vegan diet, but my own reasons for doing it had nothing to do with animal welfare. I did it strictly for physical and mental health.

And it didn’t last, because I was constantly plagued, from the beginning, with temptation and feelings of deprivation, specifically centering around meat. So when I was presented with meat-based temptations, I freely gave in, because there was nothing stopping me from doing so but health considerations — and I do plenty of unhealthy things in life, so what the hell?

Since I’ve gone vegan this time around, I actually haven’t felt much temptation at all. And when I do, it’s extremely easy to deal with. Why? Because this time there is a moral and ethical component to my decision not to consume animals or animal products. Because of my constant awareness that I am much happier when I am living consistently with my values . None of the animal-based foods I used to enjoy give me pleasure that compensates for how I feel when I am morally compromised. And the spiritual and moral fulfillment I feel living this lifestyle more than satisfies whatever sense of deprivation I might otherwise feel.

It goes without saying, or ought to, that I’m far, far from perfect, and that I don’t ever live 100% consistently with my beliefs. But going vegan has brought me closer to that ideal than almost any other decision I’ve made in my life.

We live in a society that offers more cheap, easily obtained opportunities for diversion and amusement than any other in history. And yet, so many of us are depressed, unfulfilled, bored, and unhappy.

I believe this is because many of us lack a real purpose in life, something to give our lives a moral and spiritual center.

I believe that it’s difficult to know our purpose or work to achieve it when we’re blocked from our full potential as human beings.

I believe one reason for that block is that we are not living according to our values, whatever those values may be.

It’s almost impossible, these days, to be true to our values, because our post-industrial, commercialized culture is designed specifically to subvert and confuse our sense of ourselves.

If you know who you are, you don’t need some company to tell you what you need in order to be a complete person.

If you know who you are, you don’t need a brand name to give you a sense of belonging.

If you know who you are, you’re less likely to believe that purchasing a product from some corporation will make you happy, make you fulfilled, make you beautiful and healthy and successful.

Corporations hate happy people. People who are happy and living life to the fullest tend not to spend as much money as the unhappy and unfulfilled. They have what they really need in life, which is not a profitable state of being.

So corporations have helped create a world designed specifically to cultivate in people those qualities that cause them to buy products from corporations.

Identity confusion. General dissatisfaction. Unfulfilled desire. Idealized, unattainable fantasies.

And all these things turn around a single axis: you don’t know who you are, what you believe, or why you’re even here.

Having a system of moral/ethical values, and living in a manner consistent with those values, is one way to help establish and maintain a coherent sense of self.

Most people in our society believe industrial animal agriculture is inhumane. It violates their sense of what is right, or moral.

Yet, most people in our society purchase and eat factory farmed meat and animal products.

Which means most people in our society are not living according to their values. And not only that, but the area of their lives in which they are being so profoundly untrue to themselves is food, the most basic, elemental aspect of existence.

When our lives are built on such a shaky foundation, is it any wonder that there’s so much unhappiness and discontent within us and around us?

When corporations create the culture that dictates who we are and what makes us happy, is it any wonder that we turn to corporate-produced meat-based products for pleasure?

Or that we turn away from the very choices that offer us liberation from that culture?

I’ve been struggling with myself about how to write what I want here. I want to be authentic, to speak in my “real” voice. But (as I mentioned before) I’m afraid my real voice about this stuff isn’t a very nice voice.

So I’ve been trying to think about who I’d like to have read this. I know people who know and support us are reading this (hi friends), but as far as anyone else — if we ever get a wider audience — it will be people who are already trying to have lifestyle that seeks to cause as little suffering as possible to anyone. I wasn’t in the habit of reading vegetarian or vegan blogs when I was eating animals, so I tend to doubt that people committed to that practice are necessarily searching for vegan blogs to read, right?

I guess that should make it clear to me that the strange burden I am carrying of having to convince anyone is something I can put down. I wish this was a Q&A so that I could honestly and compassionately answer questions asked in good faith about the realities of living as a vegan in a non-vegan world. But no one has those questions, at least not for me, that I can tell. Plus, what am I going to say? Research it yourself, the same as I did! Try this, that, or the other thing, ingredient, or practice. This odyssey is entirely personal and you’ll never truly get how possible it is until you try it for yourself.

Contrariwise, another struggle I’m experiencing is that I just want to live, you know? I am a normal person, I live a normal life. It happens to be in a long skinny house, with a job that allows me to stay home all day, a distinct lack of television commercials, and no meat, milk, eggs, or cheese. Other than all that, it’s normal! I do laundry, drink coffee, get confused about computer problems, get irritated at pets who vomit and at husbands who forget stuff. I want my clothes to look cute, my parents to accept me, and to have lots of fun instead of having no fun.

Ah, I’m rambling. I’m just processing out loud, it’s something I do. Maybe it’s too many blogs for me. Maybe it’s too much compartmentalization. I don’t know. I like having my other blog to write poetry and what not, except as soon as I think of it as “for that,” then I stay away like it has the haitchone. I love this new blog because all I was thinking about and talking about for months before we started it was veganism. Now, I just kind of wish it was the norm. For me and for everyone. Requiring no defense or explanation. Oh, that it could just be understood that to kill a living, feeling, thinking, loving being so that we can eat her is a relic of our barbaric history. Quaint and gross, like the ripping out of hearts on the altars for human sacrifice in Tenochtitlan.